March 2, 2012 Gay frankenstein’s monster wants to be Rocky Horror

January 5, 2012 Those frickin’ signs don’t paint themselves, boss.

January 13, 2012 To Whom It May Concern: I waited here for quite some time. The car did not come.

January 6, 2012 The Concrete Jungle has a roof bar replete with badass latinos arguing with badder-ass latinas about whose mother is the coolest, and it is a serious argument. You think you can joke about this kind of thing? No, pendejo. She missed a…

January 3, 2012 This dude has way cooler shoes than me, and a hot asian gf, but dammit even if NYC was settled by a bunch of fay Dutch pansies, Dutch Crunch bread belongs to SF.

January 3, 2012 Mr. MAYOR? Gaga? Wtf? Where is everyone?

January 2, 2012 That’s what the East Coast winter sky is all about, Charlie Brown.

December 30, 2011 Oh shit. Trapped behind a wall of sugar in Ohio. If i eat my way out I will be too big to get through the exit. Doomed. Send help.

December 28, 2011 Taqueria, The Mission. We take our saints seriously in SF. I figure it can’t hurt. Saints aren’t scary like gods can be. They often suffered greatly before gaining the capacity to perform miracles. In other words, they are the superheroes of Christianity.

December 23, 2011 In California, we received brilliant flowers in exchange for acceptance of unchanging, slightly-too-cool weather that evades both winter and summer. Somewhere in the hills over the city, the weather god who closed that deal holds a little piece of all our souls…